“I thought it was the Halloween update,” said Ann Nabelle, a UNC freshman. “I just wanted to make friends,” she said, “since the only ones I’ve made so far are Casper and the Flying Dutchman, and no one can see them but me.”

Upon arriving at the HellLife event, Nabelle was immediately surrounded by a bunch of people in black cloaks and crosses who violently shoved her into a circle of salt. “For a second there I was worried,” she remarked, “I thought I was at a Summit thing again.”

Despite not remembering what happened next, or honestly the next couple days following the event, Ann Nabelle said she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. “I can actually see my reflection in the mirror now,” Nabelle said gleefully “and I no longer feel homicidal urges towards ANY of my roommates!”.

Nabelle paused before adding, “I just wish I’d remembered to scan the QR code for CLE credit.”

By Ed Warren