Recent News
A 2024 Inspection revealed asbestos in Phillips Hall. What now?
In an attempt to “listen to its students,” UNC is conducting a poll on what to replace the asbestos with. Completing this survey will earn students half a CLE credit.
UNC approves construction of new parking garage in Arizona
For years, there have been countless complaints from UNC students about the shortage of parking spaces on campus. Faced with this problem, the administration has decided to take matters into…
UNC Train Club disappointed by identity of DJ Diesel
As anticipation builds for the first home football game of the year, there is one group that isn’t “Chapel Thrilled” about the first artist featured in this year’s celebratory concert…
Bill Belichick “desperate” for decent season, trims another inch off sleeves
If you happen to overhear the gentle snipping of scissor blades from the sidelines this football season, be only mildly alarmed. No, these snips and clicks inside Kenan Stadium are…
Best Shortcuts on Campus
Beat the heat and snag the best seat in your lecture with these secret shortcuts around campus!!!
UNC enrolls record of two freshmen for 2026-27 school year
In an effort to solve the university’s housing crisis, UNC’s Undergraduate Admissions Office took unprecedented action by enrolling only 2 freshmen in the class of 2030. The students, Todd and…
UNC Honor Court introduces thought crimes
Starting this fall, UNC’s student conduct guidelines will include a new, controversial rule: “Students may not think, ponder, or contemplate anything negative about UNC-Chapel Hill or its administration.”
Carolina North’s Brand New North Carolina Feel
Last week, we sat down with Lee Roberts to discuss his vision for the upcoming campus expansion project, Carolina North. Our reporters had one pressing question: How did he think…
Carrboro College to open its doors to new students in fall 2026
Housing crisis – overpacked facilities – Lenoir dining hall – you name it! This nonexhaustive list of grievances against the fine institution of UNC Chapel Hill is the reason many…
Answering your FAQ: The UNC Health/Campus Health Merger
In these unprecedented times, the Oh Well is dedicated to maintaining transparency with the UNC community. Swipe for answers to the student body’s most burning questions about the UNC Health/Campus…
Top 5 things to tell your uncle this Thanksgiving
We know Thanksgiving can be a little stressful. Conversation is always difficult at the dinner table with all of your relatives. We’re here to help. Here are five conversation starters…
“My dog ate my Canvas assignment” and other excuses for late work
Check out some creative excuses for getting away with late work at UNC.
An Interview with Lee Roberts about his plan to make UNC more walkable
Last week, one of our correspondents sat down with UNC Chancellor Lee Roberts on behalf of The Oh Well to talk about his new plans to renovate campus. Here is…
Top 7 things I’ve overheard in the Franklin Target
I’ve spent a fair amount of time in the Franklin Target; it’s actually one of my favorite places to hang out. I like the parts where you can choose what…
New “School of AI” to cause rapid sea-level rise in Bowman Gray Pool
Reporters for campus’ fourth-most prominent newspaper The Daily Tar Heel confirmed in early October that the School of Data Science and Society will combine with the School of Information and…
Last minute Halloween costumes you can buy at the UNC Student Stores
Looking for a last minute Halloween costume? Don’t go all the way to Spirit Halloween! The Student Stores has you covered. Swipe to see some creative, last minute costumes you…
Student attends HellLife event instead of HeelLife: leaves exorcised
“I thought it was the Halloween update,” said Ann Nabelle, a UNC freshman. “I just wanted to make friends,” she said, “since the only ones I’ve made so far are…
I ate the clam chowder at Chase and now I am clairvoyant
I smelled it before I saw it. A pungent odor that could only be Fresh Never Frozen Clams from Walmart (Cesium-137 Free). I peered into the silver pot, as though…
I LIVED IT: I was the first senior held back for CLE deficit
Yup. You read that right.I transferred into UNC in the spring of 2023. I remember it like it was two years ago; the dishes argument with my bitch roommate Sam…
Davis Library to be sawed in half amidst budget cuts
Amidst the 70 million dollars in budget cuts, Chancellor Lee Roberts announced Monday that Davis Library would be “strategically reducing in height” by sawing off the top 5 floors and…
Spirit Halloween spawns in newly vacant Alpha Tau Omega house
It’s officially October, marking the crucial window in which Spirit Halloween stores start spawning in empty buildings across the country. In Chapel Hill, sources report that a Spirit Halloween has appeared…
Top 6 Spots to Drink on Franklin St.
We get it. It’s Week 8 of class and you’ve already exhausted every bar in town. MAW? More like MID. StillLife? What are you, 12? With midterms approaching, the students of…
Carolina Dining Services experiences unprecedented backups after students download Subway Surfers on kiosks
This fall, Carolina Dining Services introduced new kiosk ordering stations for many of its on-campus dining locations. These kiosks, resembling giant iPads, allow students to conveniently skip out on human…
UNC places professor on administrative leave following alleged affiliation with ‘anti-bad, anti-evil’ organization
Perhaps most disturbing are the testimonies from Dixon’s students. “He always assigned very reasonable readings, and made sure to treat everyone in the classroom with the utmost respect,” said sophomore…
“The Winter I Turned Ugly” tours scheduled at Duke this January
On Monday, September 29th, Duke University announced their limited-time “The Winter I Turned Ugly” tours. The Oh Well’s social scientists found that the announcement is just in time to ride…
UN-SATIRE: UNC to face the UCF Knights this Saturday, September 20th
In a shocking twist of fate that football experts are calling “not shocking” and “not a twist of fate,” the UNC Tar Heels are slated to take on the UCF…
He actually was there last night, and here is what He said
Last Tuesday was like any other Bluesday at He’s Not Here. That is, until Jesus Christ descended from Heaven and preached from the stairs. Here’s what Oh Well correspondent Matthew…
The Oh Well’s guide to joining clubs
Looking to put yourself out there? Look no further. Check out The Oh Well’s comprehensive guide to joining clubs.
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