Recent News
Top 5 things to tell your uncle this Thanksgiving
We know Thanksgiving can be a little stressful. Conversation is always difficult at the dinner table with all of your relatives. We’re here to help. Here are five conversation starters…
“My dog ate my Canvas assignment” and other excuses for late work
Check out some creative excuses for getting away with late work at UNC.
Top 7 things I’ve overheard in the Franklin Target
I’ve spent a fair amount of time in the Franklin Target; it’s actually one of my favorite places to hang out. I like the parts where you can choose what…
Last minute Halloween costumes you can buy at the UNC Student Stores
Looking for a last minute Halloween costume? Don’t go all the way to Spirit Halloween! The Student Stores has you covered. Swipe to see some creative, last minute costumes you…
Student attends HellLife event instead of HeelLife: leaves exorcised
“I thought it was the Halloween update,” said Ann Nabelle, a UNC freshman. “I just wanted to make friends,” she said, “since the only ones I’ve made so far are…
I ate the clam chowder at Chase and now I am clairvoyant
I smelled it before I saw it. A pungent odor that could only be Fresh Never Frozen Clams from Walmart (Cesium-137 Free). I peered into the silver pot, as though…
I LIVED IT: I was the first senior held back for CLE deficit
Yup. You read that right.I transferred into UNC in the spring of 2023. I remember it like it was two years ago; the dishes argument with my bitch roommate Sam…
11 things I’d do if I were Rameses for a day
Ah, the age old question of “What 11 things would you do if you were Rameses for a day?” The Oh Well’s in-house Rameses the Ram expert answers below.
Spirit Halloween spawns in newly vacant Alpha Tau Omega house
It’s officially October, marking the crucial window in which Spirit Halloween stores start spawning in empty buildings across the country. In Chapel Hill, sources report that a Spirit Halloween has appeared…
Top 6 Spots to Drink on Franklin St.
We get it. It’s Week 8 of class and you’ve already exhausted every bar in town. MAW? More like MID. StillLife? What are you, 12? With midterms approaching, the students of…
“The Winter I Turned Ugly” tours scheduled at Duke this January
On Monday, September 29th, Duke University announced their limited-time “The Winter I Turned Ugly” tours. The Oh Well’s social scientists found that the announcement is just in time to ride…
He actually was there last night, and here is what He said
Last Tuesday was like any other Bluesday at He’s Not Here. That is, until Jesus Christ descended from Heaven and preached from the stairs. Here’s what Oh Well correspondent Matthew…
The Oh Well’s guide to joining clubs
Looking to put yourself out there? Look no further. Check out The Oh Well’s comprehensive guide to joining clubs.
WHAT IS DIPHI?
An Official The Oh Well Biopic
DiPhi is a philanthropic society with a few simple roles here at UNC, such as advising the BoG, promoting the arts, and making regular…
The Oh Well’s guide to getting rich quick
Hey! Do you have no money? We get it. Tuition’s been paid and that Alpine Bagel won’t pay for itself. Suddenly eggs are expensive because some bird flew? Aren’t they…
The Oh Well’s Guide to Finding Off-Campus Housing
Are you tired of that stinky old dorm room? Interested in venturing into the world of shared showers, toilets, kitchens, and living spaces, but in a house this time? OMG,…
Unexplained Phenomenon: Park at Panera for more than an hour and watch your car magically disappear
Students and community members have recently been reporting strange phenomena surrounding the Franklin Street Panera, seeing a slight increase with the seasonal release of its autumnal squash soup and strawberry…
UNC Board of Trustees releases “Hark the Sound (Brainrot Edition)” to reach prospective Gen Alpha students
Following a meeting earlier this week, the UNC Board of Trustees released a statement outlining a new plan for reaching prospective students in Generation Alpha. The document, titled “Tar Heel…
H.A.G.S.? We call them women
As the semester comes to an end, campus officials just released a report that found that misogynistic, anti-women persecution rates have spiked over 160 percent in the last two weeks.…
Business school student fails to find summer internship, hired by dad instead
This summer thousands of UNC students will get a taste of their potential future careers as they pursue internships at businesses and organizations all over the country and across the…
Grad photos just got a little sweeter: the Old Well Coca-Cola Freestyle touch screen soda machine now offers Baja Blast
With graduation season just around the corner, seniors have been lined up at the Old Well waiting for their turn to take a picture in front of the iconic UNC…
Hundreds of students show up for Edible Campus meeting on April 20
Edible Campus, the gardening club that brings free produce to students at UNC, saw record numbers at Saturday’s gardening meeting early on April 20
Neighborhood HOA ignites heated shrubbery battle with Gimghoul Castle
The Gimghoul Historic District is home to a plethora of beautiful and well-maintained homes. Garbage bins hidden by stone walls, matching black mailboxes and perfectly manicured bermuda grass flanks every…
Everything you need to know about riding the Lenoir dish carousel for 24 hours
Let’s stop lying: we’ve all envied the journey our dirty little dishes embark upon on the Lenoir dish carousel. I work so hard, surely harder than a dish, without the…
Hugs and Pups deemed “too peppy,” a rival group called ‘Handshakes and Reality’ takes over the pit
As I was walking to French class one Thursday morning, I saw a handsome beagle by the quad. Naturally, I assumed it was ‘Hugs and Pups,’ the mom-led cohort that…
“Huh, maybe God is real:” Pit Preacher struck by lightning, inspires his first student conversions
As of February 2024, our in-house Onyen Statistics Team found that UNC’s notorious “Pit Preacher” was working at a steady rate of students successfully converted to Christianity: zero. This past…
After messy break-up, vengeful ex-boyfriend vows to attend next “MUNCH” meeting for the right reasons
Last Friday, third-year Henry Pinter accidentally attended the Model United Nations at Chapel Hill (MUNCH) convention in the Student Union, hoping to improve his craft and show the world how…
The top five reasons to watch Dune 2—although none of us actually had three hours to watch the movie
1. There’s sand, and lots of it Need I say more? The movie’s name is literally Dune—there’s got to be some amount of sand involved. Sand all over the screen…
Fraternity Court shivering through the night with annual bedsheet toga party approaching
“It’s like a scene from Apocalypse Now,” said Tri Zeta member Fannie Lou Elizabeth Beauregard. “I had to turn my only bed sheet into a toga so now I have…
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