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  • New “School of AI” to cause rapid sea-level rise in Bowman Gray Pool

    Reporters for campus’ fourth-most prominent newspaper The Daily Tar Heel confirmed in early October that the School of Data Science and Society will combine with the School of Information and Library Science to form an unnamed “School of AI.” Though the exact details of the project are currently unknown, the environmental effects are painfully clear: following a rapid sea-level rise in Bowman Gray Pool, the greater Woolen-Fetzer area will be completely underwater by February 2027.

  • UN-SATIRE: UNC to face the UCF Knights this Saturday, September 20th

    In a shocking twist of fate that football experts are calling “not shocking” and “not a twist of fate,” the UNC Tar Heels are slated to take on the UCF Knights today, Saturday, September 20th, at 3:30pm. According to sources close to The Oh Well, the game will be played in four parts, with a medium-size break directly following the second quarter. Both teams will likely display some combination of offensive and defensive strategies, resulting in a win for either the Knights or the Heels.

  • Ranking the 8 Floors of Davis Library by Altitude

    If you’ve ever spent any time on UNC’s campus, you have probably overheard this age-old debate circulating the campus community: Which floor of Davis Library is the farthest from the ground? It’s tempting to dismiss this question as an unsolvable mystery; however, we here at the Oh Well weren’t satisfied with such a cop-out. With the help of a really big ladder and a comically long tape measure, the case is finally closed. Stick around to see where your favorite floor stacks up! The answers might surprise you

  • The Top 8 Things I Learned from Spending 13.5 Hours in Lenoir Dining Hall

    To learn more about the student dining experience, The Oh Well executive team contacted our top investigative journalist, proposing the unprecedented task of spending a whole day in Lenoir. Since she couldn’t make it, I took up the mantle instead. Here’s what I learned in the belly of the beast