On Friday night, hundreds of Carolina fans stormed Kyle Filipowski’s Durham apartment, joyously stampeding through his living room, kitchen and bedroom. Although no one was hurt, Filipowski spent most of the apartment-storming curled up in a little ball. 

Carolina fans insisted the incident was totally spontaneous. “It just kind of happened,” said UNC fan Josh Gibson. “A bunch of us were watching a replay of the win over Duke from Feb. 4, and we were so pumped about it that we ran all the way to Durham to celebrate.” 

“You can’t blame us. We were just caught up in the moment,” said UNC student Allison Gates. “I was jumping around and going crazy with my friends, and suddenly I found myself on top of Kyle Filipowski’s coffee table.” 

Despite initial media reports, Filipowski was not injured. He spent the majority of the incident on the floor of his home covering his head until he was rescued by several Duke managers who treated the joyful student storming like it was Normandy Beach. 

Duke Coach John Scheyer said he was livid about the incident.

“This apartment storming has got to stop,” said Scheyer in a pre-game press conference. “I know students are excited, but someone is going to get hurt.” 

Shortly after Scheyer spoke, two thousand Carolina students spontaneously stormed Scheyer’s home, tearing up his backyard and turning over Scheyer’s 2023 Lexus RX.

“It was totally unprompted,” said one UNC fan. “We were just feeling the moment.”