Earlier this morning, in an unexplainable socio-economic and environmental phenomenon, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s beloved campus shifted approximately 30 feet to the left. 

Geologists, seismologists, and environmentalists alike have yet to release any sort of statement about the alarming change. Students all over the university are burdened with confusion and shock as they work to adjust to the geographical surprise. 

“I was walking to class like normal when, all of a sudden, I ran headfirst into Peabody,” junior Ben Buchanan said, icing a sizable bump on his noggin. 

Buchanan, of course, hasn’t been the only Chapel Hill resident affected. Students and professors have been running straight into walls all morning and well into the afternoon. 

When asked about the morning, Sherita Baker—UNC’s renowned and beloved crossing guard—shared that she simply blinked during her shift and when she opened her eyes, she was in the middle of Carmichael Arena, attempting to keep oncoming traffic from crashing into the bleachers. 

While the basic infrastructure of the areas that used to be 30 feet to the left of campus have been completely eradicated from existence, the right-most 30-feet area (that campus originated from) is now a gaping and fiery hole leading to the middle of the earth. 

The Chapel Hill Police Department has yet to block this area off but say that they’ll “get to putting caution tape down there at some point.” Meanwhile, a reported number of seven cars, two scooters, and one bus have disappeared into the hole, never to be seen again.