Perhaps most disturbing are the testimonies from Dixon’s students. “He always assigned very reasonable readings, and made sure to treat everyone in the classroom with the utmost respect,” said sophomore and Middle Eastern Studies major Lex Luthor. “It was horrifying.” 

Asian Studies minor and political activist Tom Marvolo Riddle shared a similar narrative in a recent blog post, claiming: “This class was fun and interesting: a very good class to take if you’re seeking a GPA booster. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And I try to kill my worst enemy, like, every school year.”

Senior Hannibal Lecter, who took a gen-ed with Professor Dixon last spring, told The Oh Well reporters: “Dwayne is one of the most inspiring and talented individuals I’ve ever had the privilege of learning from. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”

For more information on Dixon’s suspension, read Fox News’s new article, which paints a very fair portrait of the ongoing situation.