“My dog ate my Canvas assignment” and other excuses for late work

1. The power went out.

2. I got circumcised at Bojangles and now I have sepsis.

3. My AI girlfriend broke up with me (again).

4. Rameses sent me a rose on Hinge.

5. I submitted the wrong file.

6. I hooked up with my rose match, and now I have gonorrhea.

Author

  • Preethika Ratnam is a writer for the The Oh Well and writes for the university’s satire paper (The Oh Well). Some of her pet peeves are redundancy, which means repeating the same thing over and over again, and repetitiveness, which means being redundant. Critics have described her as “legit awesomeness” and “awesomeness level maxxed out.” Fans have described her as “…”. This is because fans don’t talk. At least not the ones that create a wind-chill effect by circulating air.

One response to ““My dog ate my Canvas assignment” and other excuses for late work”

  1. Preethika R Avatar
    Preethika R

    This is awesome keep it up!

Leave a Reply

Discover more from The Oh Well

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading